It is still hard to believe that I'm somebody's "mom"! Someone entrusted me with a child? Crazy!
My family came into town for Mother's Day. We ate lunch at Jilly's Cupcake Bar, and then spent time at my Grandparents. It was a good laid back Mother's day. Tim Arie Alex and I came home at watched a movie that evening and went to bed early b/c we were too tired to do anything else.
It has been an interesting chapter entering the circle known as Mothers. Did you know there was a circle? I didn't, not really until I became a mom. I kind of got a glimps of this Motherhood tribe while I was pregnant, just a peek under the curtain, but the curtain came up after Airawen was born. Other mothers smile at us and help us with the cart at the grocery store. They give advice freely when they can tell I don't have a clue what size socks I should be buying for my baby. I get the most encouraging emails and phone calls from my friends who are moms. I joined this sisterhood without even knowing it. The initiation is kind of rough... The toll, the beat-down, the hazing all came in 12 hours of labor that ended in a c-section and going on 3 months now without getting more than 4 hours sleep at a time. The pain I still feel in my body. The payoff is everytime Arie Alex smiles at me. Everytime she nuzzles her face into my shoulder. Watching her sleep. Talking with her and having her coo and goo back in conversation. Watching Tim interact with her and joy on their faces as they get to know each other as Daddy and Daughter. Every time a mom stops us in the store and tells me how adorable my sweet daughter is. I have no problem saying, "This is hard", "I can't do this", "I am weak". But thankfully I am so far from having to do this alone, God has given me those who are stronger, wiser, more patient and graceful, to help me cut a path as a mom.
I've entered this clan of women and they have accepted me with open arms. They tell me I'm mighty and I am not alone. They ask me how I am doing, and say, "You are doing a great job!", when I feel like I'm falling apart. They are the women who also are getting no sleep, haven't showered in days, and have no idea how to make what is required of them fit all into one day. They are the same, these women, who's bodies still hurt from being a mom and who's patience dwindles from time to time. They are the moms who understand and have faired worse and better parts of being "Mom" for years longer than I.
Thank you to the mom who showed me what size socks to buy at Target. Thank you to the mom who showed me what A&D ointment was. Thanks to the mom who texted me while I was in labor. Thanks to the moms who read my blog and the moms who don't have time to read blogs. Thanks to my mom for raising me and praying for me. Thanks to the mom who raised my husband to be a loving and Godly man. Thanks to the mom's who put their wants and needs before their children's and truly know sacrificial love.
I really felt like a mom this Mother's Day. Constantly putting what I want on the back burner for the good of my baby, working until I feel that I might go crazy because I have just that much strength left. Tired, with a list of a million things to get done, but thankful that I have a reason to be tired, and in love with my husband and child. Happy late Mother's Day to all you moms out there.
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